So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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