Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
