I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Farmville is her only friend.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
