just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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