i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's great music for shaving your balls
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
