I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
