FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
