I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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