his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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