Fuck appropriateness.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
