The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I believe in your delicious
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
