Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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