if you like me you must not know who I am
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Actions speak louder than pants.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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