so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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