you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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