tell your sister to shave her snatch
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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