there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
