And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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