Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
