tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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