And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found the puke drawer
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
