Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
