I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she woke up with a sticky ear
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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