Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
