those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
