haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
