two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
