I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
