Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
