i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
