well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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