I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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