the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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