the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
