I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
