My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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