Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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