there was a trapeze. enough said
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
