It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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