Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
