He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
