I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
