He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
