Already got asked if we're dating
so explain again why im purple
no
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
