I need help removing her.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I want you more than these girls want KFC
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
