But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
