96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
