this beer tastes like vomit already
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
