I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
