she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
