remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
