yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
