It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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